31 Weeks: Numbers

Numbers this week, in no particular order. 

4. How many pounds little Baby A weighs, with sibling B falling close behind at 3 lbs. 14 oz.

76. Their percentile, if they were alone in my belly. As it is, they are together... Who knows what percentile that is--big!

2. The number of appointments I'll be having per week, starting next week! Can't go more than a few days without some type of check up.

95. The elusive blood sugar number I'm supposed to be under when I wake up, before breakfast. It's not happening and I think insulin shots may be in my future. Boo. I have an appointment on Thursday to check in and see what's next. 

2. The number of placentas I have that produce so many hormones...the cause of the morning blood sugar numbers being too high.

124. Number of blood pricks I'll do until these children arrive!

30. Pounds I've gained so far.

7. Number of weeks left! If that...

2500. Calories I'm eating each day. The diabetes educator told me I wasn't eating enough.  Now, I eat ALL. THE. TIME. 

64. Ounces I drink a day. 

15. Number of minutes Elliot's ear tube surgery took, from start to waking up. He had so much fun, he didn't want to go home.

1. The number of times I need to get up to use the bathroom during the night. 

5? 6? 10? The number of times I wake up during the night to make the roll from left side to right or back to my left. Maybe it just feels like 10. 

1. Inches between my belly and the steering wheel. I'm not sure what I'll do when I start scraping the the steering wheel while I'm driving. My legs are too short to go back any further. Maybe recline?!?

30 Weeks: Sunshine!

I've really enjoyed this week. Yes, the beginning was frustrating as I tried to get a handle on what gestational diabetes means. Talking with others who have done the same was SO much better than researching the vast, often conflicting, information on the Internet. It's going to be just fine. I have an appointment with the diabetes educator on Tuesday and hopefully that will confirm my thoughts that it isn't too bad. Although, I did tell Aaron I was expecting a huge deep dish pizza as soon as possible after the delivery!

But, I'm just getting so excited this week. I had a little family "sprinkle" and the gifts, painting little onesies, and praying for the twins just made it seem so real.

I washed some diapers and some blankets this weekend too. Such cute little prefolds. Wow, the babies are on their way.

The sun is shining and beautiful and that just makes everything seem better. I had to find my one pair of maternity shorts in my closet...I've never been pregnant in April before and have never needed shorts! But, I love that it's warm enough to warrant the wearing of shorts-- pale, cankle legs and all!

I gave the three boys their summer buzz cuts this afternoon, and although it has nothing to do with being pregnant, minus having to take a sitting break between each one, it's just one more reminder that summer is on its way!

With the positive week behind, this upcoming week is a busy doctor week. Tuesday AM Elliot has his tubes surgery for his endless ear infections. Then, in the afternoon I learn more about diabetes. Wednesday afternoon I have another ultrasound and an OB appointment.

I want to end with this poem that I was given at my shower. I think I want to put it up in their bedroom somehow (with that extra time...).

Baby 

by George MacDonald

Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of the everywhere into the here. 

Where did you get those eyes so blue?

Out of the sky as I came through. 

What makes the light in them sparkle and spin?        

Some of the starry spikes left in. 

Where did you get that little tear?

I found it waiting when I got here. 

What makes your forehead so smooth and high?

A soft hand strok’d it as I went by.  

      

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?

I saw something better than any one knows. 

Whence that three-corner’d smile of bliss?

Three angels gave me at once a kiss. 

Where did you get this pearly ear?        

God spoke, and it came out to hear. 

Where did you get those arms and hands?

Love made itself into bonds and bands. 

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?

From the same box as the cherubs’ wings.  

      

How did they all just come to be you?

God thought about me, and so I grew. 

But how did you come to us, you dear?

God thought about you, and so I am here.

29 Weeks: Gestational Diabetes...Boo.

May the mind of Christ, my Savior

live in me from day to day, 

by his love and power controlling 

all I do and say. 

I found out on Saturday that I do indeed have gestational diabetes. Boo. I don't know much more than that.  I have a little app that tells me my test results, so I haven't actually talked to a doctor or anyone else about it.  I was pretty bummed.  Then, in church today, we sang this song as our opening hymn. A flood of memories came rushing through me because Aaron and his dad sang this song at our wedding.  I was reminded of our beginnings. I was reminded of the "mind of Christ, my Savior" and to focus not this one-more-thing-to-add-to-the-twin-pregnancy-list, but instead to focus on the larger picture.  His love and power can control all I do and say. 

May the word of God dwell richly 

in my heart from hour to hour, 

so that all may see I triumph 

only through his power. 

Sometimes it is "hour to hour" that I need to be reminded of who I am.  It is in each hour that I may recognize the triumphs.  I look back at our 12 years of marriage and the triumphs that have been ours to name.  This pregnancy today will also be a triumph, only through His power.  

May the peace of God, my Father, 

rule my life in everything, 

that I may be calm to comfort 

sick and sorrowing. 

Peace.  Some days I wonder what that looks like.  Aaron spent most of his spring break this week caring for a sick baby... again... Elliot had tonsillitis, plus a double ear infection. We are moving ahead with tubes in his ears.  Peace was seeing our boy's fun personality return, with his energy and his chatter.  I'm learning that peace isn't always quiet. Peace isn't always relaxing. Peace rules my life that I may be calm to comfort. This pregnancy has felt anything but peace, but singing this song this morning reminded me of the calm that comes resting in God's plan. 

May the love of Jesus fill me 

as the waters fill the sea. 

Him exalting, self abasing: 

this is victory. 

It's all God, isn't it.  May the love of Jesus fill me.  My victory is not in myself or even in my diagnosis, my road ahead (of no desserts!!), or in the pregnancy itself. Let me find victory beyond myself. 

May we run the race before us, 

strong and brave to face the foe, 

looking only unto Jesus 

as we onward go. 

I'm not sure I'll be running anywhere soon, but this journey has felt like a race, and this pregnancy has felt like the foe at times.  However, onward I go. I need help to look to Jesus, to be brave, to be strong.  This is the only stanza that says "we" instead of "I" or "we." This pregnancy is a race we've embarked on and alone I would not be moving forward.  Together, I am able. 

All this to say, I have gestational diabetes. It's just one more step in this journey called twin pregnancy.  Thanks to the choice of music in church today because it made this unknown path seem bearable, less overwhelming, and OK. 

28 weeks: Yay Third Tri!

I'm typing this blog post from the comfort of the urgent care. What better place to write about being pregnant than in an uninterrupted space...because you know it will be awhile before they call my name. Nothing like hemorrhoids on a Sunday afternoon. I've never had such bad hemorrhoids, so yeah, just add that to the  list. The thought of sitting in a hard church pew this morning had me at home all morning playing with Elliot.  Great game he made up of laying on the couch and grimacing when getting up. He thought he was so funny!

This week has been up and down. I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Everything looked fine with strong heartbeats and a closed cervix. I'm measuring 35 weeks. At this rate I'll be measuring 11 months when I go in for my c-section! I have my next appointment in about 2 more weeks and that will include another ultrasound.

I did my glucose, gross drink, test on Wednesday as well. I did my best to eat perfectly, but still managed to fail it. I have to go back on Friday for the 3 hour test. Praying that test will show up negative. 

On Tuesday we went out to eat, taking advantage of Green Mill's "kids eat free" deal. Aaron and I kept peeking, let's be honest...staring, at the small family with their huge limo stroller carrying infant twins. They were out. They looked pretty well put together and their toddler  daughter seemed content. They didn't do much eating, but as soon as the rest of their friends showed up, they got to rest their arms- Dad had one baby and Mom had the other, with big sister coloring in the middle. Note that none of  their friends had kids with them, so Aaron and I decided that we need to find some friends without kids, just for occasions like these! Hah! In all seriousness, it was just a little glimpse into our possible world and it kinda fun to see.

P.S. I get to add a little hemorrhoid "surgery" for Monday.

27 Weeks: Happy Easter!

Busy. Our morning started with Easter baskets, breakfast, Samuel's birthday presents, and rushing off to church. We did rush because as we picked up speed after getting out of our neighborhood we looked back to see Elliot's shoes fly off the top of the car where we'd left them while putting him in his carseat! Also forgot the birthday invitations for our bigger boys... yep, just a day in the life of the Bryant household.

I feel like I'm getting into a routine, a "pregnant-with-twins" routine, if that's possible.  With my new braces, I make it through the school day and I can come home without completely collapsing right away. I heat up the quickest meal I can find for supper and by the time supper is done (after we've endured the endless chatter on a good day, the bickering on other days, and pure screams/tantrums on the worst days) that is when I collapse. I sit at the dining room table as it is cleared and the kitchen cleaned by the rest of my family in a flurry of boy activity.  The hardest days are Monday because I love my weekends. It's even harder when I have a three-day weekend like this one--glorious.

I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I have my list of questions ready. Really it's a pretty short list but I am curious about anesthesia for my c-section.  My previous c-sections were not planned and I had to have general anesthesia for both.  I've never been 'awake' for a c-section before and am curious as to what it entails.  It's also the dreaded glucose testing for gestational diabetes. I almost failed it last time and had the awful 3 hour test getting blood drawn 3 times, once an hour.  After all of my sugar today for Easter, I'm going to be super healthy for the next three days in hopes I get great results--I don't want to do the 3 hour test, and I definitely don't want the gestational diabetes.
I told Aaron yesterday that I'm ready to just get this show on the road here... I'm ready to meet the little ones who clamor for space within in me.  I'm ready to deal with the parenting challenge and end the pregnancy challenge.  I'm ready to share the burdens, share the joys, even share the sleepless nights (although Aaron doesn't sleep so well either since I take up most of the bed space with my massive pillows, constant heaving while I turn over, and the snoring that has started).  I'm ready to go... let's get trimester 3 started!

(don't mind the overly casual clothes in the picture... I'd had enough of Easter clothes by the time I took the picture...)

26 Weeks: What if...

What if we had five boys? I pondered this on our way home from church today. The palm branches we were to be waving while we sang our first song quickly turned into weapons and swinging the branches as hard and fast as possible to make the loudest noise possible.  Then, the boys had made popsicle crosses for Palm Sunday and they were all turned into swords within 5 minutes of leaving church... two-year-old included. Sometimes the amount of noise and activity that little boys can produce is deafening, sometimes the noises and grunts that replace their words is baffling, and their wrestling and tumbling is overwhelming. I grew up with all sisters and if I'm honest with myself, I never dreamed I'd be a mother of boys. I love it though. I never dreamed I'd be a mother of twins, and two more boys or not, I know I will also love it.

What if they find something in an ultrasound?  I've never had so many ultrasounds before and I do love being able to see the littles moving around and thriving. I also am anxious each visit because of the 'what if' that goes along with seeing them.  However, my ultrasound on Tuesday went well. Baby A sits on my left and weighed in just under 2 lbs. Baby B is on my right and was also just under 2. Baby B still refused to turn to get the needed spine photos, but we are just going to keep trying. Not worried. My next ultrasound will be a growth ultrasound around 30 or 32 weeks and then an ultrasound every week after that to measure the size of the babies and the amount of amniotic fluid around them. 

What if I deliver early? Have our babies in the NICU? Although these are all real possibilities, I decided to do some research on averages for di-di twins (own sacs, own placentas).  I was so encouraged by what I found. Yes, all of the above are a possibility, but the amount of moms who delivered close to 38 weeks was encouraging.  Most of those moms also had babies in the 6-7 lb range and very few had any NICU time.  I had no idea there were different types of twins and I am so glad that the twins I carry are at the least risk for early delivery and NICU time.  

What if I can't stand and have to go on bedrest?  Yes, I know this also is a real possibilities and some days I wish I could just lay down for the rest of the pregnancy, but my realistic side knows that would add a ton of new issues.  So, my new research this week was how to keep my pressure/heaviness feeling at bay, especially while working. After a little internet research I invested in this crazy looking strap that resembles a boy's athletic strap (However, my strap has a little lace decoration--makes the idea of wearing this sooo much better...LOL). The reviews came back as that it worked wonders and... also shows through most clothing.  The reviews almost all said, "Who cares if it shows! I feel so much better!"  Funny how style goes out the window at times like these! HA!  I wore it on Friday and I am cautiously optimistic. I'm also waiting on a back brace to arrive. With both I hope I can stand for longer and stave off the bed rest that looms in the back of my mind. 

I continue to be blessed with meals, folded laundry, and my house vacuumed and swept. I don't know what I'd do without the love in action from all these friends and family. A public thank you! 

25 Weeks: June 13, 2016

I scheduled my c-section this week, June 13! As the nurse was giving me all of my instructions over the phone, what not to eat, when to arrive, etc, I was thinking, "Is this really happening?!?" It seems like it is still so far away...

I've been asked multiple times over the last few weeks, "How are you doing this? How are you working full time as a teacher, raising 3 children, and carrying 2 more?" I've thought about this and honestly, it would be impossible without Aaron.  Aaron has picked up and sacrificed his time, his energy, his free time to do what I cannot do, even in the middle of the night when Elliot isn't sleeping. He has always been the parent that jumps in with all that he is and when others laugh at their spouse's inability to cook, change diapers, dress, and run a household, I can't join in their laughter. I can't join in because Aaron isn't like that. When I've left, I've never had to pre-plan meals, set up a schedule, give instructions, or check my text messages throughout my absence. I've never had to pick up the pieces when I get back.  Aaron knows as much about how to raise our children as I do. He is involved in all of the details and he always has been. In this time of our life, in this stage, I can sit back and he just takes over. He just does it. When I tell him how lucky I am, he shrugs in his understated, humble way and doesn't even realize how special, how unique, he is among men!

This week has been my glorious spring break. I started strong on Monday and my sister came over to help me rearrange my dining room. I converted it into an extension of our living room with a changing table, spot for a pack n' play, a rocking chair, and all of the kid toys.  I wanted a space to do all of the infant stuff without needing to go upstairs.  I love it.  I worked way too hard and could barely walk by the time Aaron came home from work, but it was worth it.  After Monday, my list of things to do dramatically slowed down because Elliot was sick with hand, foot, mouth disease followed by another ear infection.  I spent much of my day rocking him and dealing with clingy boy, but maybe that was for the best--I couldn't tire myself out!

Celebrating Elliot's birthday with Nana and Poppa this weekend. 

I had an appointment on Tuesday that was pretty routine. I measured in at 31 weeks (with the tape measure method for singletons) and babies' hearts were beating away.  I spent much of the next day on the phone figuring out how to make my next appointments. I have my next appointment in 3 weeks and I didn't know if I needed to schedule a growth ultrasound, my glucose test, a regular appointment--all three?  It was back and forth between nurses leaving messages for doctors, mixed messages, until I finally was able to talk with my doctor's nurse directly. The end result is no growth ultrasound needed yet, yes I should do my glucose testing, and yes a regular appointment! Next time, I'll take copious notes during my appointment to make sure I have it all straight... where's the little printed schedule for twin mommies that I can just look at!? :-)

I have my next ultrasound tomorrow to get the rest of the pictures they couldn't get last time. Hopefully it's not two hours long again. I have the two big boys with me this time because they start their spring break and I'm going to try to bring them with me. I don't know the rules about kids in the room, but we'll see. They've never seen an ultrasound live before.

Onward we go.  I'm back to work on Tuesday and worried about my strength.  One day at a time.